To Network Successfully, Ditch the “Blast Approach”
The following is adapted from The Secrets of Dating Your Business.
I’ll never forget the moment I received my starter package for my new networking marketing business. I was told that I should share my new, exciting business with my friends and family, so I did just that. I put together a list of about fifty people, crafted my announcement email, held my breath, and hit send!
With butterflies in my belly, I constantly checked my email, waiting for responses like, “Congrats!” and, “I want to buy what you’re selling,” or, “This sounds amazing.”
I figured for sure I would get five or ten clients right away! Instead, I got one response three days later that didn’t even end in a sale. I was crushed. I had followed the advice, and it had gotten me nowhere. Honestly, I wanted to throw in the towel then and there.
Have you been there? If so, you’re not alone. I’ve trained thousands of people, and I can tell you that this type of situation happens far more often than you might think. The solution isn’t giving up, though. The solution—as I found out—is to implement networking approaches that actually work. Those are the approaches I want to share with you here.
If At First You Don’t Succeed… Try Something Else
I was educated, hungry for success, and ready to hustle—just like I bet you are. I was putting the work in, but I wasn’t getting anywhere. After a lot of no’s and attempts to network and sell through social media messages, emails, and texts, I said to myself, “I have to figure this out. What am I doing wrong?”
So I began to dig for expertise: I read books on the industry and listened to CDs, watched videos, and read any blog I could get my eyes on from other entrepreneurs and experts in the field. During this self-development period, I learned one of the most important lessons of how to build this business in the most effective way possible—one person at a time.
Instead of blasting everyone with copy-and-paste messages, I needed to focus on spending time and having human conversations with people. Two hours with one person would be more valuable than attending a networking event and having five-minute conversations with twenty different people. It was about standing out, making connections, and getting to really know someone rather than exchanging business cards and forgetting the face to the name after one cocktail!
Once I learned this, I made two goals: (1) instead of messaging hundreds of people and posting ads, I tried to simply connect with one new person each day and (2) add value to someone every day—find one point of connection and go from there. If you want to network successfully, I suggest you do the same.
Keep It Natural
Over the next few months, as I started to build my business and talk to new people, I realized the less I made it about me, the more traction I gained. We tend to talk about ourselves a lot and revert conversations back to our own experiences. We make too many “I” statements instead of asking about the lives of others.
When we ask questions, those types of conversations create a natural “in” for your product or service and help you find out if you can truly help the person you are talking to. Show authentic interest in their why. When you stop looking for how people can help you and start searching for how you can be of service, everything changes.
Goodness naturally flows from you when you have a genuine interest in other people’s lives and what they’re doing. When you make the effort to be the caring and loving person that you’d want to do business with, you sprinkle that goodness on people. Start taking this approach, and I promise that your friendships and your business will grow!
Let Things Flow
When I was at a workout class with my one-year-old son, a new mom was there with a baby who was just a few months old. It was her first time working out since giving birth, and after we did a swift loop around the block with our strollers, she was red, hot, clearly exhausted, and about to throw up on a bench.
I walked over to her and said, “It’s okay. I felt the same way when I first started.” She caught her breath, and I ran the next loop right next to her, making sure she was okay. She was a little embarrassed, but I made a new friend that day.
We connected on social media, and she shared that she was desperately looking to work from home, as she was laid off during pregnancy. She ended up joining my business, and I don’t think that would have happened if I hadn’t empathized with her during her rough day.
When I decided to talk to this woman, I didn’t have an ulterior motive—I was just being a nice person. When you take the agenda out of your interactions and make others feel good for no reason in particular, it sets you apart. In the back of every businessperson’s mind, there’s always the thought of what you might gain from someone, but personal benefit shouldn’t be the driving force behind anything you do.
Build Your Business Through Connections
In business, the bottom line in terms of big money and success is whether or not people find you valuable. The number of people you touch is the determining factor in the amount of money you will make.
That means to succeed, you need to meet as many people as possible and maximize your best self. The more you are genuinely good to people, the more they will want to help you be successful. Your goal is to create a valuable interaction with every person you meet and make their day a little better. That is what builds your business.
Once I made this discovery, “connection” became my mantra. I was all in! Whether I was going for a walk or going to the store, I was connecting. I treated everyone the same, no matter who they were to me. It took practice, but it became second nature for me to share what I do and to talk about my goals and plans.
You can easily do this, too. Get a phone number, then follow up with an invitation for coffee, a drink, or a workout class. Take the time to get to know people. It’s like a game of tennis: you ask a question, and they ask a question. You ask a question, and they ask a question. You give a compliment, and they feel more relaxed and trusting. The more questions you ask, the more others will ask you in return. People who take a true interest in other people are the ones who get ahead.
The Start of a Beautiful Relationship
As you become more comfortable, people will become more intrigued by what you’re doing because you didn’t push it on them. They’ll see that you genuinely care—that you aren’t just using them for how they can benefit you.
However, remember that it is about networking and connecting. So when you talk to someone, let them know what you’re doing. Wrap up the visit with something like, “So if you know someone who might be interested or could benefit from this, I’d love it if you could connect me with them. No pressure.” Then you grab their coffee and pay for it because it’s a kind, memorable gesture.
I think you’ll find, like I did, that the blast approach is the wrong approach. It’s pretty hard to grow a true connection out of that method, so ditch it! Instead, take the time to focus on people as individuals. Listen to them, connect with them, and be nice to them. It’ll help you build your network, but even more importantly, it will create a win-win where both you and the other person can genuinely benefit from each other, no matter what the outcome of the interaction is.
For more advice on building your network in a genuine, effective way, you can find The Secrets of Dating Your Business on Amazon.
Miriam Steketee is a former dancer and corporate gal who turned a network marketing side hustle into a seven-figure business in just four years. She left the corporate rat race in New York City to build a life and career she loves on her own terms, from home. Today, her passion is to help women live authentically and become the best version of themselves, and believes building and maintaining relationships are the keys to sustaining a business long-term. She lives in Ridgewood, New Jersey, with her three children—Sebastian, Darien, and Julian—and husband, Randy, who was able to start his own law firm because of Miriam’s success.
